You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
