I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
