did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize