how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
