one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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