A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
