I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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