There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
