Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
