Where did you get a picture of my penis
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
