He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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