he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
