We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
