Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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