I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
