It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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