Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
