WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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