I just saw a hot homeless man
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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