I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
