im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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