somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your cock deserves a montage
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
