i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
