i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
