do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My ass is underappreciated
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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