the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
