SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
