Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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