oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
