I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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