If i come over, it means nothing
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
