I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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