no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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