why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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