The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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