guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize