You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
