Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
