Nicole vs. Life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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