my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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