Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize