A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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