Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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