Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
