best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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