i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
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I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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