She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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