There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
