I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
