we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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