So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
