i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
