he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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