is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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