She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
