he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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